Posted on January 20, 2010 - by Morgan Howard
Capt. Phil Quotes
Seas 2/Epi 13:
“We cheated death one more time. I feel like a one legged man in an ass Kicking contest!”
Seas 3/Epi 2:
“This ain’t a hamburger stand out here, y’know? This is the real deal and people really die.”
Seas 3/Epi 5:
“You’re not a man ’til you’ve pulled a tooth out with a pair of pliers.”
Seas 3/Epi 7:
“In drastic times you’ve gotta do drastic things.”
Seas 3/Epi 9:
“This is big-time weather and anything can happen.”
Seas 3/Epi 219:
“You go through a couple marriages, smoke cigarettes like it’s going out of style, your body aches from the time you get up to the time you go to bed, and you wake up in the middle of the night thinking about where you’re going to put the next pot. Yeah, it’s a great lifestyle.”
Seas 4/Epi ?:
“Big tough guy that ain’t so tough.”
Seas 4/Epi 1:
“Now you know why lions eat their young.”
Seas 4/Epi 7:
“Everybody wonders why I smoke like a g*@$*#n choo choo train.”
Seas 4/Epi 8:
“Now my advice to anyone that wants to do this… is stay in school. Learn to be something, cause this will kill ya. This isn’t for everybody, you gotta be a little bit twisted to do this job.”
Seas 4/Epi 10:
“Today is a spend some money, smoke some cigarettes, drink some caffeine day today.”
Seas 4/Epi 14:
“There’ve been some developments since last night that’ll just blow you away.”
Movietome.com
On the Sig’s promoting of Russian King crab
“This whole thing stinks to high heaven. We are madly trying to get consumers to buy American seafood.”
On his on camera performance
”We don’t do anything that we wouldn’t do if the cameras weren’t there. What you see is what you get.”
“That’s the deal with crabbing. Every day you’re going to encounter something where somebody almost gets smashed (or) thrown over the side. The stories you hear, you think, ‘Well, maybe they’re exaggerating.’ It isn’t an exaggeration. These guys are the toughest guys there are.”
“Nothing on these shows is scripted whatsoever. What you see is what you get no matter what.”
“This is big-time weather and anything can happen.”
On what he did with his $130,000
“You want the honest answer? I bought a car, I bought a house, and I bought a couple of hookers.”
On the demands as being a captain
“It’s like, if you make a mistake in your job right now — say you screw this interview up — what’s gonna happen? Your boss is gonna say, ‘Hey man, you really fucked this thing up, why don’t you do it again?’ I go make a mistake and somebody gets either hurt or killed. There is zero room for error. You have to really, really concentrate and know what you’re doing. You don’t have the luxury of screwing up.”
On crab fishing
“I keep doing this and doing this and my number’s going to come up. I’d just as soon quit in one piece.”
On what is shown on the series
“I have enough integrity, for all the people who taught me and people who know me. I wouldn’t do this show if they told me one thing to say or one thing to act.”
Right before he plays the prank on the Northwestern
“Retaliation, Cornelia Marie style.”
On the show
“It’s kind of neat that people want to know what we do and the conditions we do it in.”
On his son
“As a father I’m really proud of him and as a captain I’m proud of him. He’s really working his ass off.”
Q & A from Capt Phil Website:
Q: What would most people be surprised to know about you?
A: “That I have a quiet, soft side, I really do.”
Q: What was your dream as a child?
A: “To try and be successful no mater what. I always had this idea that I could very easily just become a bum and homeless. (Laughing.) That idea still keeps me motivated.”
Q: What is your dream now?
A: “To be the best I can be professionally and personally. To look in the mirror and know that things are okay.”
Q: If you could change anything about your life, would you?
A: “Probably not. (pause) I wouldn’t change anything, I don’t think… take the good and the bad.”
Q: What important lesson have you learned in your life?
A: “To always be a man of your word.”
Q: If you could change anything about your life, would you?
A: “Probably not. (pause) I wouldn’t change anything, I don’t think… take the good and the bad.”
One liners:
“This ice goes up to the place where Santa Clause lives.”
Talking about the day his son Jake was born
“I picked him up to see how cute he was and he pissed all over me!”
“Opies is my forte.”
“I figured I’d lose everything, my cookies”
“You’re that low below whale shit.”
“There’s fart bubbles, there’s crabs.”
“Was that plain enough?”
“I’d rather see you than Jesus right now.”
“When the weatherman issues a hurricane warning, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to get your ass kicked.”
“That’s bad juju.”
“It’s like taking your kids out at 11 o’clock at night, giving them a couple of flashlights, and tell them to go play in the middle of the freeway … this is big time weather and anything can happen.”
“Don’t make this harder on me than it already is.”
“That is one full crab pot.”
“How do you tell your sons goodbye since you’ve just been given two weeks to live and they’re leaving to go fishing for several weeks.”
“Now my advice to anyone that wants to do this… is stay in school. Learn to be something, cause this will kill ya. This isn’t for everybody, you gotta be a little bit twisted to do this job.”
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February 20, 2010
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Liz said:
I would love to see some of these on shirts or all put together as a book. I read these and keep stop smiling. Capt Phil brought joy into my home each and every week, and I continue to watch te DVDs and laugh! Such a kind and funny man…
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February 20, 2010
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Ed said:
Sorry Josh & Jake; still love the scene & line … “Now you know why lions eat their young”. J&J-he expected as much of you as he gave you and that showed it. They’re all great, thanks.
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February 20, 2010
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Tracy Lynn said:
My favorite was the “crab fart bubbles” episode, I laugh just thinking about how serious his face looked when telling that story.
My heart goes out to his family. He loved his boys dearly, and it showed, even when he was screaming at them we knew it was because he wanted to turn them into great crabbers.
This season of DC will be hard to watch, but we will watch it and remember Capt. Phil fondly.
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February 20, 2010
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Jessi said:
My favorite is where Captain Phil says “Ya gotta be a little bit twisted to do this job”.
I would like to see some t-shirts too. I know at his coffee company they had some really cool ones with some of Captain Phil’s quotes.
Tried to buy one of the t’s and they were out of stock. Sure hope they get more in!
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February 20, 2010
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Alexandra Marx said:
I was so sad when I heard the devastating news. Honestly, Capt. Phil made us all laugh with his one liners. Speaking of, one of my favorites is when Josh and JAke were somewhat bullying the new engineer Steve, and told the both of them to come up to the wheelhouse to be told off. He then told the boys, “your no great deck hands, you are not even good deckhands, you are okay. Now I was a great deckhand, I was a really great deck hand” (with a smile on his face) He was the coolest guy, so authentic and we will miss him soo much.
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February 20, 2010
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Kathy said:
I agree some of these quotes should be on T-shirts – I would buy them. Phil was the reason we watched Deadliest Catch. He was rough and gruff but he had integrity. Our prayers are with his family at this difficult time.
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February 22, 2010
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Leslie Publicover said:
I agree with Kathy in the above post these should be on T-Shirts, especially this quote…
“When the weatherman issues a hurricane warning, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to get your ass kicked.”
Its one of my favorites, remembering Phil always.
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February 22, 2010
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Greta May said:
May The Man Of Many Quotes & Funnies, Rest In Peace!!! Our thoughts & prayers are with you and yours. Phil will be missed!
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February 22, 2010
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Ed T said:
Wow, I am going to miss the wit and wisdom. Phil and Sig make the show.
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February 23, 2010
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Brandy said:
Like everyone else, especially J & J, I will miss Phil. I had an enormous amount of respect for him, as well as the other Captains. I also hope that if some of his more favorite expressions make it on to T-Shirts, they are fully attributed to him. (I live in South Florida, so the hurricane quip is particularly apropos !). I’m looking forward to watching J & J in “DC – The Next Generation” :-)
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March 5, 2010
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Ray said:
Then his sons went on a spending spree, they sort of “made up” onboard. Captain Phil said lastly ” I love you too, now get the hell out of my wheelhouse!” to them both. That is the quote that i will always remember.
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March 8, 2010
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Marcia Hargis said:
I’m with Ray!! this was in the top 3 best eps. for sure. You should make a great T-shirt and Hoodie with that unforgettable quote. What a guy…What a dad.
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March 27, 2010
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Roger Campanozzi said:
All my deepest sympathy to The Harris family, nad crew of The Cornelia Marie.
To Josh, and Jake,
There will be times ahead that will test you and make you look out at that horizon in a different way guys. Just remember your father, the good times and he was the best darn Fishing vessel Captain there ever was! Love to all
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March 28, 2010
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Colin Clayton said:
Hi my name is Colin and iam sadened by the passing of phil harris he reminded me of a pirate, plus the name cornelia marie( perfect pirate name for a boat what a great man and father you men risk your lives everyday out in the bering sea. mother nature at her worst (if there was a definition of man it would be a alaskan fisherman)Josh and jake i no you will be great fisherman learning from your dad my dad passed away 3 1/2 years ago scrosis of the liver from needles i miss him everyday.I would love a picture of your dad sent to me. Thank you Colin(Be strong Josh and jake
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April 13, 2010
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Pete said:
Truely a mans man….we were all lucky to be blessed by his presence and humor….He will be missed
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April 14, 2010
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Jenny said:
Okay, I’m sixty, born and raised in the south and knew nothing of the Alaskan crab fishing until I saw the first show of the first season. It was Captain Phil that lured me in. I was as hooked as one of the crab pots! My friends knew not to call when the show was on…no matter what! None of them could understand but then I can’t understand why they watch Fox news all day. It’s not like the news story will end differently the second time they see it!
With each show, each season my respect grew stronger for Captain Phil. I realized how much he loves his boys but that line about lions eating their young had me rolling on the floor. I would buy that shirt in a heart beat just to wear around my own children! It sure got the point across.
The strangest thing I can tell you is that when the heat of the summer hits I can catch a rerun of Deadliest Catch, watch them busting off all that ice and for some reason it doesn’t seem as hot. I might even want to get up and put on a sweater. Now if that’s not crazy I don’t know what is!
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April 16, 2010
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Margaret said:
We will certainly miss Captain Phil. He was real. He was tough. He loved his sons and was good at his life’s work.
My favorite Captain Phil quote is,
“You can make things happen. You can watch things happen or you can wonder what the f*** happened”.
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April 20, 2010
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Isaac said:
On episode 1 of this season something like you are either making things happen watching them happen or wondering what the fuck happened
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May 3, 2010
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tony said:
to jake & josh ,i feel for ya ! your dad and all on the Cornilla Marie make the show great,john & andy on time bandit, sig and edgar on the northwestern really make the show great too ,keith on the wizzard can kiss crab ! lol i will continue to watch the series i hope one of you take over for your dad ,keep it safe and dry ! and look for crab fart bubbles !!!!
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May 4, 2010
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Corvid said:
What an absolute legend! Total inspiration to us all, rest in peace Captain!
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May 11, 2010
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sue my boss said:
Really sad to hear about Captain Phil, he was an inspiration, such a great show. Will really miss him.
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May 19, 2010
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Alberto said:
Lamento mucho que una persona como el capital Phil haya muerto…siempfre estuve al pendiente de su enfermedad pero ahora no sé donde dirigirme con la familia…
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May 20, 2010
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Serena said:
prayers and thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time…. i know that nothing i say or do can take away the pain. i can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through. I am very deeply saddened by your loss….Remember that your loss is shared by many friends, fans, and family who care and that you’re in our thoughts and hearts, and in our every prayer. May you find the courage to face tomorrow in the love that surrounds you today and every day. May the love and support of friends and family be a source of comfort to you at this time…your Dad Phil will always be as close as a memory and in yours and our hearts. It will be the little things that you will remember the quiet moments, the smiles, the laughter. And although it may seem hard right now, it will be the memory of these little things that help to push away the pain and bring the smiles back again, im sure he gave you memories too beautiful to forget..Gone, But nevere forgotten <3
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May 30, 2010
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William said:
WEBMASTER
Please take a look at the 1st episode for the 2009, Phil’s BEST quote was there… I don’t care to mis-quote such an honorable man, so please check with the Discovery Channels Episode.
R.I.P. Phil!
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June 15, 2010
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Mary said:
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my own Daddy a few days before Christmas 2009. It’s not easy. Just remember he’s only one heartbeat and one breath away from you. I find comfort in that with my loss. I hope you will too.
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June 17, 2010
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Susan said:
I loved Captain Phils way of putting things! You are so missed Captain Phil. Very traumatic to watch this weeks show and knowing what is going to happen next week
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June 18, 2010
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Ellie said:
RIP Capt, Phil!
The world has lost a truly honorable man this year, no one could replace such a great human being!
Harris Boys– Your father would be SOOOO proud of both of you! Everyone has problems, so never ever ever let someone else’ opinion effect your own self worth. You two are truly great young MEN and I hope you continue in your fathers legacy—- GIVE ‘EM HELL THIS SEASON BOYS! You are ALL in my thoughts and prayers. Have a SAFE passage home & *profitable* season this year—- ALL of you; out in the Bering Sea.
Safe Passage home,
RIP Phil, you are greatly missed.
All my love && prayers to the fleet,
–Ellie <33333
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June 24, 2010
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Christy Chapman said:
To put it plainly that was an amazing man! I feel honored to have been given a window into such an amazing life. For Josh and Jake I have lost many people in my life and was at my partners side as we watcher her father take his last breath, so I know what you are going through in a way and although it does not help I am sorry for your loss but I am also so happy that you were blessed with such an amazing life with your father through the good and the bad. Thank you for letting us in to your lives I am great full.
May you all have the wind at your backs, Laughter and love in your hearts, an abundance of crabs filling your pots, and a safe return to port.
always a true fan, Christy
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June 24, 2010
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tlynn said:
I love these quotes. And the one where he talked about holding Jake when he was born had me laughing. I don’t know where he came up with some of his quotes, but they were some great ones.
This is how I want to remember Phil, saying some funny things and working with his sons.
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June 28, 2010
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Corrie McDermott said:
Reading these makes me laugh and smile. I’d bust out laughing at some of the things he’d say in episodes. He seemed to be one hell of a guy.
The world has lost a great man.
RIP Phil.
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July 9, 2010
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Beth Haire said:
I remember him saying stuff about the fart bubbles. That was so hilarious. RIP Cap’t Phil.
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July 10, 2010
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Thomas said:
I’m a guy from Sweden that been watching DC for some time. Yes it’s aired here! It’s one of the best shows ever.
Cap´t Phil, that’s a man that I really respect.
It was with sadness we received the news about his past away.
To the Harris family; You are in our thoughts.
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July 12, 2010
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John Richards said:
I too like the quote about Phil holding Jake for the first time. I could almost picture his reaction (WTF), and I can also see Phil saying that Jake started something that both boys continued to do to him throughout the years. Gotta love it..
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July 13, 2010
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Teina said:
Thank you josh & jake for allowing us into your lives. Your dad was truely a speacial man, and you two men are too. My prayers go out to you and your family. May your lives continue to be blessed with wonderful memories that you never forget to make.
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July 13, 2010
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Patrick said:
To Jake & Josh,
As your endeavors move on in life just remember dads watching. Don’t say goodbye, say I’ll cya ya later, as we all will be together again someday…. My wife and I watch just about every episode cause of your dad (Phil) and you boys and Sig. Just so you know she loves you guys and we both hope everything is well now and you guys are trying to move on in life with this loss.
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July 14, 2010
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Bailey said:
My heart goes out to Jake, Josh, and the family and friends of Phil. He’ll be missed so much. I liked how Captain Phil made me laugh with what he said and just how he put things. Jake, Josh, just know that your dad’s always with you in your memories and heart and that this is just goodbye for now. RIP Captain Phil!
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July 21, 2010
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Jocelyn said:
My favorite Phil-ism: You can watch things happen, you can make things happen, or you can wonder what the fuck happened…..that’s why I make things happen.
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July 23, 2010
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Whitney said:
Phil was the best, still is. Reading these makes me laugh everytime. I love the first one about cheating death! Ge was a fighter no matter what. He lived his life the way he wanted and did an awesome job at it. He loved having his toys (bikes, cars etc.) He wasn’t afraid to take a chance, a risk, he did what he had to do to get the job done and he did it well. He knew what to do and when to do it while he was out there. Like he said out there there is no time for mistakes. Phil, we will always love you and you will always be remembered! R.I.P
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July 23, 2010
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kyle said:
phil quote “a fairy tale starts off once upon a time, a fishermans tale start off this sh*& aint no story”
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August 4, 2010
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John said:
My Favorite Capt Phil Harris quote, ”You can watch things happen; You can make things happen; or you can wonder what the F happened” — Capt Phil Harris, Deadliest Catch
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August 26, 2010
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Pamela said:
Capt.Phil left nothing to the imagination. What he was,was what you saw.He lived hard,partied hard,(but what you could really see) HE LOVED hard.His boys, his crew, his way of life,He Loved HARD and could show it with his gift of words….RIP Capt. Phil
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August 26, 2010
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Carol said:
Even now, many months after his death and between DC seasons, Captain Phil comes to mind often and always brings a smile. Behind that craggy, unkempt appearance lay a good, funny, warmhearted man with the soul of a philosopher — and the mouth of a stevedore! I’m so glad we all got to know him.
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September 16, 2010
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Sherry said:
Capt. Phil made me laugh every week…every week. “Wonder what the f*** happened”, priceless! Always thinking of him. I’m gonna miss seeing him this coming season.
Big Guy, we love and miss you “bad…bad bad”
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October 30, 2010
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Simon said:
“Now you know why lions eat their young.”
Phil is so right with that quote. Especially when you have teenaged daughters. Another of his quotes I used many years ago before I followed the series when my kids were younger.. “Whats those bubbles coming up the side of the boat dad?” “It’s the fish farting girl so get a rod over the side”.That was my daughter Alex back in 2002 when she was 6, She caught quite a nice fish too..
I’ve followed Deadliest Catch since it began and honestly the way the Skippers talk you start to feel as if you know them. Earlier in the year when it made world wide news that Phil had suffered a Stroke and not won the battle I couldn’t believe it, Yet knowing that he hadn’t made it to see it in the episode we are upto in Australia is very distressing and left me in tears even as I write this. It is heartening that he asked for it to be included as part of “the story” but still hard to watch. You know what they say though.. Only the good die young so I hope you all will carry on in the way he would want you to do in the way he would expect if not better
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December 7, 2010
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Victoria said:
I love the show, but most of all I loved watching Phil and the Cornelia Marie. He will be missed. Josh and Jake I hope you guys take over where your dad left off and always remember what he taught you, and the fart bubbles. Rest In Peace Captain Phil
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December 31, 2010
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Taylor said:
I’ve been a fan of this show since day 1. It truly amazes me how viewers get so emotionally attached to the people in this show. I honestly cried when Phil died and it still makes me tear up just thinking about it. I still love this show and even though I’ve seen all the episodes at least once, I’ll still watch them everytime I see them on tv. So how am I spending my New Years Eve today? Simple. Watching the deadliest catch marathon:)
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January 20, 2011
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Maria said:
Siento mucho la perdida de Phil. Me dolió mucho su muerte, no me lo podía creer.
Un saludo desde España para toda su familia y todos los que hacen el programa, me encanta.
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February 5, 2011
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joao pedro estrela said:
foi com grande tristesa que soube da morte do capiao pill somos uma familia portuguesa admiradora da pesca radical sendo que o barco cornelea marie o nosso idolo que deus o tenha em paz mas ja nao e mesma coisa sinto saudades um abraco para a familia
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February 9, 2011
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lizette grijalva said:
Con nostalgia conmemoramos el primer aniversario del CAPITAN PHIL, esta noche rezare por su descanso y pedire a DIOS que cuide a sus amados hijos!!
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February 9, 2011
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Shannon Shearer said:
“You can watch things happen, make things happen or wonder what the fuck happened.”- Capt. Phil Harris